Facing Reality

I need to work tonight -- I've been blowing off work since the semester ended. I haven't checked my email in two weeks, and I'm sure it's overflowing with issues I don't want to deal with.

My vacation is over, and it's time I faced up to the fact. Precal (and my adjuncts' classes) start on Monday, and I have to get my lazy butt in gear and do the job I'm not being paid for this summer.

I think I'm going to put in two days a week in the office, working on cirriculumn for next semester, and two days a week working eBay to bring in some extra cash. Fridays are the fun days -- that when I get to hit all the garage and thrift stores.

It's time to grow up and work for a living. Sort of. Even though they aren't paying me. (Gee, am I the tiniest bit resentful?)

Sweetheart? Spammer?

I think I'm a victim of the lowest spam campaign ever -- sweetie spam. Someone clicked my profile and sent me this message:

"Just wanted to say Hi and that I really liked your profile. Its great to have some things in common, it makes life easier dont you think ? Anyhow I am moving to your part of town in about a week. Its a new start for me- how do you like living out there ? Sorry I dont have a picture yet but if you can see me at my work site. Go to lowauto.com and just type in your zip and hit the Unitrin or Progressive part and you will see me a headset on. People say I look like Mel Gibson, Im just taller-lol. If you like what you see I would like to hear from you.. Thanks Matt "

I'm suspicious after reading the email. It's just too generic. He doesn't say what about me interests him, and he doesn't ask specific questions about the Metroplex. Most telling of all is that part about no photo -- he could have just downloaded his photo from the website then uploaded to match.com.

Next I checked his profile, and found he's a Christian who wants kids and has a conservative political outlook. Yeah, tons in common, baby.

And then lastly I try out his "see me" instructions, and can't find a photo of him anywhere. Unless he's a she. Lots of photos of women, but no men with headsets.

So I've been spammed, and I fell for it. I clicked to his stupid site, and looked for the photo.

I can't decide what to do next. Part of me is tempted to play him/her/them just to see how far I can get this to go. Then, if I don't get a reply or get a stupid reply, I can report him/her/them. The smarter part of me says to delete it and move on. I've wasted enough time.

Getting Better

Another grammar-mangler contacted me through match.com, but at least this guy had a vocabulary. He said I was ravishing. Yeah, he probably says that to all the profiles, but I still enjoyed hearing it. He's in Colorado, anyway, so that will never work out. Better yet, I have another email in my box, this one from a night owl up surfing for chicks at 2 AM. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to read it. I want to sleep with wonderful possibilities in my mind.

Wallpaper is a bust -- I ran out and had to order another roll. I knew three rolls wasn't allowing for enough experimentation, and I was right. Now I have to wait about a week before I can finish this project.

That gives me more time to work on my classroom mural project. After talking with Mom I made a few changes. She suggested working with bed linens instead of canvas, which saves me quite a bit as an inexpensive drop cloth is about $16, but a used twin sheet is only $2.00 at a thrift store. I already have a bunch of fabric dyes and paints, too, so I don't have to ask the school to buy acrylics for me. Plus the sheet will be easier to store than a canvas.

I'm going to work on a proof-of-concept pillowcase tonight, right after I make it through the Stalingrad level in Call of Duty. I can't believe how breathtaking the intro charge up the hillside is. Almost makes me wish I taught history classes, just so I'd have an excuse to share it.

Bought a home project book at Half-Price books yesterday, and suddenly I have twenty new things I want to do with my home. Since my summer financial outlook is so grim I might as well work on these things, and get something tangible from my vacation.

My Number One Goal is to finish the wallpaper/bookcase project. I have nine shelves left, and I'm going to try to wrap it up tonight. I keep starting, and stopping, and moving on to something else. It's a real pain, and I want to FINISH it so I can move on to other projects.

Other projects like the kitchen back splash. And I have an overwhelming urge to paint my bar stools. I need to hire someone to do something about the leak over the front porch, and to clean my gutters. There's also that small tree my neighbor complains about, and that other tree that's interfering with the electric lines. I guess I need to call a tree removal company about those.

And I need to hold a garage sale. It's time to face reality -- I am never going to get my Haywood-Wakefield sofa reupholstered. Ditto the wonderful club chair I took off Rachel's hands. I have a twin bed I need to sell, four file cabinets, and several boxes of Rachel's things in the garage. I need to call Rachel and have her move her stuff out of my house, once and for all.

I'm holding off on a lot of changes, specifically to the guest bedroom and the bathroom, because there is a slim, slim, slim chance that everything is about to change. My favorite uncle died this spring, leaving two adult sons behind. The younger son, B, is capable of taking care of himself, but the oldest son J is slightly autistic. J needs someone to help monitor his diet, socialize him a little, watch his finances, drive him to church and the doctor, and generally look out for his well-being. On top of the autism, J has diabetes, and lost one of his lower legs to infection a few years ago. There is a super-slim chance that J will move in with me. It's so slim that I don't even want to write about it, except to say if he does then I'll have to get the bathroom remodeled so it's accessible.

I'm going to pretend he's moving in for a while, so I can motivate myself to do something about the guest bedroom. I'm going to install Outlook again, get R's number out of my backup, and give her a call. I want her stuff OUT of my home. NOW.

Promises, Promises

I told myself I would communicate with every single man who seemed remotely interested in me, but I'm having a lot of trouble living up to my word, especially when the latest person lives outside Houston and likes women with big, round butts.

That seems a little silly, right? I should be happy there are people out there who find fat people desirable, but the honest truth is that it sort of grosses me out. How can anyone be attracted to my body? Right now my mind is the thing to admire. I want to get a hell of a lot closer to ideal and then have someone admire my physique. For now, sexual attraction will probably come later in a relationship after I know I can trust someone not to run from the bedroom in terror.

How can I possibly communicate with this guy? How could I ever give a pervert like this a fair shot?

Grammar Police Seeks Same

I've been on match.com for about four days now, and I've only had 13 profile views and one wink. The wink was from an idiot -- his profile title said "Do yourself a favor and meet me" and his description just said "I'm a nice guy" over and over and over until he hit the 200-word minimum. Yeah, like I'm going to bother replying to someone who supposedly has a graduate degree but comes across as barely literate.

I hate this whole "wink" thing. What happens is a guy looks at my profile and "winks" at me, then I still have to make the first real move and reply with an email. I have to stick my neck out on the line -- all he had to do was click a damn button.

Advice: Men, skip the whole "wink" thing, adjust your balls, and send a freaking email!!!

And learn how to spell. "Alot" is not a word. Please, learn a little grammar. It's not "CD's." Please don't tell me you're a "romantic and funny guy." Just write something funny and romantic instead.

I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, aren't I? Just because I insist on someone who capitalizes the letter I when it's used as a pronoun. (NOT "Just bcase i insist on someone who capitalizes theyre i's when its used as a pronoun.)

Yup, I'm going to die a born-again virgin.

Serendipity

Too strange -- I decide a bunch of Scrabble boards will make me happy, and a lot of 14 appear on eBay.

Post Austin

Didn't do much shopping in Austin, since I was there on the school's dime. I didn't even have time to go into Uncommon Objects, although I did get to look in the window. S and I made a quick run through Spice on the way home. As a result I have two new interior decorating to-do list items.

Spice had a table set with dishes, and Scrabble boards were used as the place mats. Loved it!! Cheap, colorful, fun . . . I have to find six old Scrabble sets, which shouldn't be too hard, and then buy turquoise dishes to place on top of the boards. (Target has some I'm in love with.) So cool.

One shop on Congress street had some fairly typical tall rectangular glass vases in their window. The vases themselves weren't anything special, not until the artist covered them with transparent decals depicting colorful vintage scenes, probably from old postcards or scrap art. At first I thought the artist had used clear adhesive paper, but after a conversation with my sister I've decided it was most likely water-slide decals. I really loved this look, and I'm going to strive for something similar. I even have a few sheets of decal paper -- all I need is a vase.

Leaving Austin

Gods, this conference has been a blast. Every session I went to was informative, fun, and useful. My group's presentation was pretty good, not the snafu I was expecting.

My favorite presentation was from Merton College,where the president is placing large museum-style graphics on the classroom walls and in the hallways as a way to help bring history into student's lives. Their Star-Spangled Banner room is an incredible example.

Their project made me reconsider how my campus designs its space. I want my campus to be a place that seeps students in education. I think every single room should have a map and a globe, posters, pens, pencils, and BOOKS. I want books in the classroom, books in the offices, shelves of books lining the corridor. I want comfortable seating in quiet areas, so people can pursue learning outside the library. And of course I want PCs everywhere. Like Starbuck's, but without the commercialism. And with BOOKS.

And please, please, please some freaking visual stimulation. Some color. Our campus is sooooooo dull. The aqua-and-pink color scheme is straight from the 80s. I'm sure our younger students think they're studying in a bad episode of Square Pegs. And these younger students, these highly visual creatures, are the ones we often hare the most trouble connecting with, just because of the age difference. Placing the students in such a dismal environment invites them to shut down before they even enter the classroom. The students (and me!) need a welcoming, energizing, eclectic, nonconformist space. We need to reflect who they are, just like their bedrooms reflect who they are. They need to feel like we "get them" the second they enter our doors.

So my #1 post-conference goal is to do something about this. I'm going to talk about it, write for the school newspaper about it, and even ask HGTV to help.

Naturally, I'm also going to transform my classroom. Right now all sorts of ideas are percolating through my head. I want to get some huge canvases, paint them with large-scale graphics, and mount them in my room. Or maybe use cheap painter's drop cloths and mount them to the ceiling somehow, like tapestries. That might be easier - I could possibly use suction cups with hooks. OK, this is sounding good.

I want to find pencil cups to place between monitors. And pads of scratch paper. Maybe order some VisiBone mouse pads. Remember those monitor "frames" that were popular a few years ago? I want an upscale version, with Windows hot keys embedded into the design somehow.

This is going to happen. I can make this real.

Wine and Technology

Had a nice conversation with a female registrar from Florida while we were waiting for the conference shuttle, and we ended up going to dinner. We found a great Italian restaurant off Congress street, and ate a fantastic meal with a great bottle of Riesling while trading stories of our failed love lives. After a couple of hours we went back to the hotel and opened another bottle of wine, and somehow talked ourselves into posting our profiles (or in my case re-posting) on match.com, complete with a series of giggly drunken photos.

Over the third bottle of wine I was showing her how to navigate through the site, and ran a search for men within 10 miles of my zip code. I clicked on a few, and suddenly choked on the wine. One guy's profile said his roommate is a gay guy named R.

I know statistically that probably doesn't mean anything -- R has a very, very common name, especially for our age group. I'm sure there are dozens of men in this immediate geographic region who share that name. And statistically somewhere between 1 and 10% of those guys are gay.

Still, I find it very encouraging to read that R may be gay just after posting a profile and trying to find someone else. It's a sign that I'm doing the right thing.