Little Things???

We're taught from a very young age that the so-called "little things" are what make life worth living. All the simple pleasures, a lifetime of unforeseen happinesses, lie scattered in our path like sunbeams, if we'd only stop long enough to notice them.

It's such a prevalent idea we're actually encouraged to create "little things" in our own lives. Women, for example, have always been told that these "little things" are what "make a house a home." We see it in every home design magazine out there, and smart media manipulators (like Martha Stewart and her "good things") make money by repackaging the cliche. Men aren't immune, either. On the job they're told to be careful not to overlook the details (all those hundreds of little details). In romance men are constantly reminded that women appreciate little romantic gestures and a little old-fashioned courtesy.

What we aren't told is that the little things, while making life enjoyable, are also what makes life pure hell. How else can we fall in love with someone because that person (for instance) has an adorable gap-toothed smile, and fall out of love a year later because that same someone's knuckle-popping is driving us to distraction? (Admittedly the knuckle-popping might not be the root cause, but it is the proverbial straw. Maybe if he didn't have this disgusting habit we'd still be together!)

If little things do cause us inescapable pain (and anyone human will agree!) then it quickly becomes evident that the biggest myth of "little things" is that there aren't actually any little things. Everything is big, everything is laden with meaning, everything is a source of pleasure of pain, everything is relative. Accept that, and you're one small step away from realizing all those one-handed trees clapping in the forest really do matter, along with the cat that can't claw its way out of the box and that butterfly that causes all the earthquakes and tornadoes.

So, knowing that there aren't any little things, that everything is a life-and-death matter, we can safely assume it's OK for me to be upset about matching paint colors.

I can't get my baseboards to match the trim on my doors.

(sigh.) It isn't the paint. I can daub it on the door trim and once dry it blends in so well I can't find where I daubed. But the same paint on the baseboards is MUCH lighter than on the door! Can't figure this out, and I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm to the point where I have to decide what to do next. (And it isn't a small decision, either -- there aren't any small decisions!)

I tried mixing black into the paint to make it darker, and I came awfully close, but not close enough. If I add more black the color will just be too grey.

My two remaining options are to tape off and re-paint the door trim (the smart thing) or agonize longer, delaying everything. (Which is probably what I'll end up doing since I'm an accomplished agonizer.)

I wish I could solve this tonight, but I'm tired, and I'm also afraid a planet in the Horseshoe Nebula might explode if I make the wrong choice.

Busy Saturday

Las night I lit a few candles, wandered around the house gagging from the dead smell, and finally left for my parent's house.

Spent the night there, and spent the morning watching HGTV on their television. Dad finally felt sorry enough for me to follow me home to do something about the smell, but when we reached my house I could hardly smell anything at all. We're letting whatever it is just stay wherever it is. It's not like I ever use the fireplace.

Took Dad to Subway since he drove all the way over for nothing, and over lunch he agreed to install the GFCI adapters in the bedroom. While he did that I cleaned a little, and uncovered a gallon of paint. It's the color I needed to finish the baseboards (the paint I bought expressely for that purpose didn't match!!) so I can hopefully finish that little project today. Dad is saying install the baseboards using liquid nail stuff so I don't have to spend as much time on my knees, and I think he might have the right idea. I'm going to re-paint, and the head over to Home Depot to purchase a tube.


Also removed the tissue paper from the windows so I can paste up smaller squares of tissue. While I was scrubbing the tissue off the window it hit me that pink is a very fugitive color. I'm worried this treatment will fade away to nothing by September. I'm going to try it anyway. At the very least it will give me time to find something else.

Dad liked the window, and he also liked the foam core in the bookcase. He doesn't like the bead board either.

Lots to do, and HD closes in six hours.

Stink of the Dead

Something died in my chimney. It smells. Horrible. Disgusting. Stomach-turning.

I know I should open the flue and fish out whatever it is, but I can't bring myself to. What if the dead thing fell on me? And what the hell am I supposed to do with it once I have it? We've had trash collection this week.

Thinking of leaving home. Going to parent's house, or to a casino or a hotel or something.

Too gross for words.

Pink Photo

OK, here is a bad photo, taken late at night, of the pink tissue paper window treatment.



Hmmmmm . . . . it actually looks like it might work. Of course it's just the bottom pane. It'll be more impressive when I finish. I like the texture, and the pink color looks good with the peacock blue. I can see the night through it pretty easily, so daylight will probably stream through without a care. It doesn't look all that great in the photo, but I think I can live with this. The green curtains, mind you, will have to go.

The price is dead on, too. $10 so far. Less than a new pair of curtains, and without the added expense of a 6' curtain rod.

The only wrinkle is that the paper is only 36" wide, and each window pane is about 45" wide. I'm worried what the seams will look like. Going to try a sheet and see. If it's horrible I'll cut the tissue into squares, and randomly paste down overlapping squares.

Wish I could figure out my sudden love affair with pink. I don't want a room full of pink, but I seem to be using it as an accent color everywhere. Pink sheets and a (hopefully) pink-ish rug in the bedroom. Pink window treatments and one planned pink wall in the living room. A pink sundress. Pink even plays an important role in a color scheme for a new website for a campus committee.

More Tests . . . .

I 'failed' the Kissing Purity Test, even though I fudged on three kisses. Could I be any more boring?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 71% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

Also discovered, thanks to the miracle of Internet quizzes, that I'm not really a geek, I'm not a Drama Queen, and that I'm 40% weird but only 55% normal.

An Actual Photo!!

My continuing no-photo situation is slowly being resolved. I borrowed my Mom's camera, but it has dead batteries. But happily my backup camera, my PocketPC, is back in action. I took this terrible photo of the tissue-paper window treatment this evening. As you can tell from the photo the treatment leaves much to be desired. I'm about to try again with the pink paper. It has a rougher texture, and doesn't have any reflective qualities, so I think if I'm careful it will work. I hope so.

Baseboards!

(10:00 PM)

This isn't nearly as hard as I thought it could be. I have the boards all cut to the right size. It should be downhill from here, right?

Going to paint the boards tonight, and maybe put them in place if I have time. Four more working hours.

This is so easy I'm thinking crown molding might be on the agenda for tomorrow, provided I can get a parent and a truck to meet me at Home Depot. I'll need almost twice as much crown as baseboards -- I didn't have to put baseboards in the bathroom since Rachel thoughtfully grouted them in place, but I will need crown for that area.

(11:00 PM)

Took almost an hour to clean up from cutting, partially because I'm so tired I can't make myself move. Having a bad carpal night, too. Shouldn't be typing at all. Still want to paint, but think I need a serious break first.

Flighty Cars and Sisters

My car died in front of Home Depot today. I think it died of sticker shock. Just spent $123 on nails, more floor paint, caulk, goggles, and a bunch of other finish-the-freaking-bedroom crap.

In reality it was the battery, so I had to call my Dad to come jump-start it, and follow me from auto repair shop to auto repair shop in search of a place that could take it at 5:00 on a Saturday afternoon. Finally found one, and $$$ later I drove away with a newly-repaired battery and an oil change.

It's true -- I paid the car off, and now it's starting to fall apart. First the brakes, now the battery.

A few minutes ago my sister called and said she had previously-scheduled plans on the day she had planned to help with my floor. Looks like I'll be applying coats 16, 17, and 18 by myself. So sick of this floor.

Going to try to finish the floorboards tonight. I have everything I need, except a spare pair of hands and some energy. Of course I bought substitutes -- a pair of clamps and some Shock-A-Lot chocolate-covered coffee beans -- so maybe I can get through this by myself. By myself, as in alone, as in without assistance, as in without calling my father, brothers-in-laws, or sisters. I'm smart and I have the Internet -- what else does a woman need?

Fun With Power Tools

Tried cutting some baseboard molding around midnight. It was far, far easier than my father lead me to believe it would be. Of course that huge miter saw made everything easy. The saw was REALLY loud, though, so I have to postpone the job until tomorrow when my neighbors are awake. Also need to make another run to Home Depot for safety glasses, caulk, nails, and some clamps to help hold the molding in place.

I can do this!!!!

Also need to pick up more brown paint for the floor. Yes, I'm going to do it again. Sister C. has volunteered to help, and hopefully we can do this job with her children in the house with us. I have to Baby R - proof everything, and buy some juice and some fruit and some kid-friendly DVDs for the sweet little brats to watch.

This time I'm just going to seal everything with polyeurethane, which I should have used to begin with. I must have been crazy, using this masonry sealer. In the future must remember to go with my knowledge and my gut, not with the recommendations of the guy behind the paint counter.

Installing Molding!!!

I'm installing baseboard molding in the bedroom tonight. Just made it back from a harrowing trip to Home Depot where I tried to fit five 12' pieces of molding into my little Toyota. I made it, but I also drove home at a leisurely 30 mph.

Still want to re-paint the floors, but I don't think I can make myself wait any longer. And if I started AGAIN that would put me up to, what, SIXTEEN coats? Also the latex needs some kind of protective coating. It's just tacky enough that little pieces of dirt get ground into its surface easily. It's very difficult to clean. The sealer is much more dirt-resistant. Even if it is butt-ugly.

I think if I could find a sealer that would look right I'd go ahead and start over, but I just don't have the time I need to find the right product.

Mom gave me a great nightstand with gold trim. I'm excited about it. I'm excited about sleeping somewhere besides my study floor. I'm excited about sleeping in an actual bed, more than 18" off the ground. I'm even getting excited about the expensive sheets, even if they are pink and do have a ruffle.

If things go well I can be in this room by the end of next week.

Floors . . . . (whimper)

I don't like what the concrete sealer has done to the floors. I can see brush strokes and air bubbles. And the glossiness of the sealer -- it's overpowered the wonderful contrast I had between the brown and gold. Common sense says live with it. It isn't horrible, so just leave well enough alone. I'm not sure I can do that, though, knowing what's really possible. I might have to go to Home Depot and buy another gallon of brown paint, and start over.

(whimper)

Digitally Defeated

Been roaming around my house grumbling for days because I want to take pictures of the windows and bookcases and can't. My digital camera is missing. I lost it before Berkeley, so I know it's somewhere in this disorganized mess. And my just-in-case camera, the one in my cell phone, is dead to the world. I broke the AC adapter during my trip, and Sprint doesn't carry replacements any longer.

I'm hoping to move back into the bedroom before school starts. Still several things that need finishing -- GFCI outlets, possibly crown molding, buying a mattress for the bed -- at least the floors are finally sealed.

Been spending money like mad. The Pier One Outlet had a sale on sofa cushions ($7 each) so I bought two. It really helped the sofa. Also purchased a set of twelve drinking glasses for $5, and a set of three 6" lime-scented candles for $3.50 each.

My favorite buy, though, are two sets of paper-lantern string lights, which I'm going to use around the bathroom mirror as if they were makeup lights. Very strange thing -- picked up the last two on the shelf, and neither had tags. The checkout lady decided they must be $5.50 each, marked down from $12.99. The strange part is that they're in a new pattern Target is introducing this month. They probably shouldn't have been marked down at all!

Been looking for pale-pale-pale pink sheets for weeks. Gave up today, and purchased Target's Shabby Chic line, which I really didn't want because the sheets have a ruffle. Maybe I can detach it somehow. Plus they're over-priced, even if they are 350 count.

Need to do something about a rug for the floor in the bedroom. I can't risk a real rug, not with R's ill-behaved cats, so I'm going to make one using a painter's canvas and paint. This should be interesting.

Of Bookcases and Windows

Spent the evening experimenting with window and bookcase treatments. Writing all this at night, and will add photos in tomorrow when it's light.

The living room window has been driving me right up the wall. I need something that will give me privacy, as my neighbors frequently do yard work between our homes, but that will also let in light, which is (after all) the purpose of a window.

I've played with curtains, blinds, and shades, but I couldn't find anything I really liked. A few months ago I played with pasting pink tissue paper to a piece of plexiglass and sticking it to the window, and it was the best treatment by far. Trouble was that the tissue didn't want to bond to the plexiglass long-term. Everything would be fine unil I tried to jam the plexiglass into the window frame. The plexi would buckle a little, and the tissue paper would slide off.

Today in Target I found a new tissue paper I fell in love with, so I bought it home determined to try again. After thinking about the problem for a while I decided to just stick the paper directly to the glass. After all, we're talking about a bond created with liquid starch. I can clean up failure without much grief.

Couldn't find the starch anywhere, so I settled for very watered-down Elmer's glue. I taped the paper into place on the window with two small pieces of Scotch tape, and then used a paintbrush to paint the glue mixture on the paper.

It's dry now, and so far I don't like the results. By night it looks cheap. It might be better tomorrow, but I doubt it. I can see bubbles in the tissue paper from where I started rushing the process, and this particular paper has a glittery sheen to it that highlights every error. The pink mullberry paper with its rougher texture would have been a better choice, but I can't find what I've done with that paper! Will have to go back to Target tomorrow and purchase another pack.

I've been thinking for a while about doctoring the bookcases in the living room as well. They're OK, but they're backed with bead board, and I'm not really a bead board girl. So I purchased a sheet of foam core, cut it to fit in a shelf, and painted it with leftover latex from the bedroom and stuck it to the back of the bookcase with double-sided tape. The color doesn't pack much of a punch in this light, but hopefully tomorrow it will look better. I want to play with a blue shade, too, so I can match the living room wall. Once I get the right color I'll buy more foam core and repeat for all the shelves. At least the lines from the bead board are concealed, which was my main goal.

Life and Wizardry

Arrived back in Dallas about 9:00 PM last night. The trip was . . . Invigorating, for lack of a better word. Berkeley and San Francisco were wonderful. I'll have to go back one day when I have time, so I can play in the Exploratorium and drive up Lombard Street.

So many unexpected things happened on this trip. First off, I enjoyed myself. (Big thanks to my wonderful co-workers!) I also got a sunburn, watched five Law & Order episodes (television!!), froze my ass off riding on a ferry, ate smoked salmon, skipped two conference sessions, flirted with two men (one married, sadly), rode in a subway, drank an intense balance-impairing margarita, lost control of my mouth, and at one point acted exactly like an ousted Reality TV contestant.

Not what I expected at all. I thought this would be like every other dull-as-cardboard conference, the ones where I went to a bunch of good lectures during the day then ordered room service and sank into gloom every the evening, crawling into bed at 9:00 because there wasn't anything else to do.

This is how I used to live. This is my old lifestyle, the one I had, what, fifteen years ago? Back when I never sat at home on a Friday or Saturday.

I like having choices again, even if what I choose is wrong. I like knowing I can be upset enough to say stupid things out loud without censoring myself first, and that I can still laugh loudly enough to make an entire restaurant look at our table. Knowing that I can still say I'm sorry when I've acted like an idiot. And I like feeling the sensations that accompany flirting, and even reveling in the crushing weight of stupidity I feel when I realize a particular flirt is DOA.

The conference in itself wasn't life-altering, but maybe it's a sign of more good things to come. My fingers are crossed.

---

Spent today playing Aunt. Picked up Niece R and Nephew R about 5:30, and drove to Barnes and Noble to wait for Harry Potter Party armbands. I had heard negative things about the party, things like how the kids would have to wait in line to get in, and how they were expecting a ton of kids. I prepared R & R for the worst, explaining we would try to go to the party, but that we needed a backup plan in case something went wrong.

Getting armbands was easier than expected. Since we had a lot of time to kill we played miniature golf in an indoor, blacklight-illuminated course at the mall. Then dinner at OTB, a board game at my house, and finally (at 10:00 PM) the party.

It was horrible. Not all that crowded -- we got in without any trouble at all -- but NO organization. It seems the kids were supposed to complete the activities in a particular order, but I couldn't find out what order. No one seemed to know anything. The store was reduced to a bunch of aimless lines snaking around bookcases, the lines filled with aimless adults who knew as little as I did. We stayed about half an hour, and then left. We bought ice cream from Paculio's instead, and had more fun playing around the fountain than we ever would have had in that dreadful party.

And I still don't have to book. I'll have to swing by and pick up a copy tomorrow, as I'm all out of reading material.

Sleeplessness and Alternate Realities

OK, lack of sleep plus crying jag plus low finances are clearly affecting me. Having great deal of trouble seeing myself pay $2.80 (on average) for concrete pavers. Especially when I don't want pavers. I really want flagstone, or slate, or something else exotic and pretty. Of course that drives the price up - up - UP.

So now I'm trying to think of a dirt-cheap something I could use as a paver. Something durable enough to take years of abuse. Something no one values. Something that won't reflect too much sun, which would heat up the yard something awful. Most pavers are two inches thick, so it would be a good idea to use that spec as a guideline.

Keep thinking there has to be a way to make milk cartons into pavers, or maybe 2-liter Dr. Pepper bottles. Or discarded encyclopedias or phone books. Or CPUs. Or hard drives.

Another alternative is to make my own pavers out of hypertufa, which is a mixture of Portland cement, perlite, and peat moss. Hypertufta looks like fun -- check out these wonderful water fountains.

Found some interesting flagstone molds, including these cute lizards from Thermal Formed Plastic. I could do them in two or three colors, maybe red and buff and dark gray.




The drawback is that it would take freaking forever. Hypertufta is pretty cheap, but I'd still have to spend a lot of time mixing and mixing and mixing and did I say mixing? Plus dry time, and finally install time. Not the smartest choice, especially for the entire yard.

Will have to develop a workable cheapside solution. Going to have to start haunting the local Habitat for Humanities again.

Gatorade and Salt Water

Well, the lady from the city was more reasonable than I had hoped, once she finally returned my call. We're going to schedule a meeting next week after I get back in town, where we'll discuss exactly what needs to be done and what my options are.

I've gone ahead and placed an online request for a landscaping company to deal with all this. Hopefully I can get a few people to give me quotes this afternoon or this weekend. I'm going to put everything on my Visa, then transfer everything to a brand-new 0%-on-balance-transfers card. Not the best solution, but I'd rather take care of it now than delay and spend additional money in the long run.

My sister and her husband have volunteered to come work tomorrow, bless them. C. said all I need to do is provide Gatorade and garbage bags. She understands I can't really help. I almost had heat stroke today standing in the yard talking to one of the neighbors. If they can get even a tenth of this Herculean labor finished I'll owe them for life.

So this evening I need to buy Gatorade, contractor bags, ice, stadium cups, and something for lunch. Also going to visit Home Depot and look at their paver selection. I don't think I'll like what they have, but I really doubt I'll be able to afford the kind of pavers I really want.

I feel a little better, but not much. Spent most of last night toassing and turning, and most of this morning crying. My face looks like a grapefruit. I don't know why I feel so helpless. I'm usually very good at throwing money at a problem, even when I don't have any money. Actually cried on the phone when talking to the lady from the city. So embarassed. I don't cry like that, haven't in years.

Hiding Behind the Bushes?

The city's citation department is making my blood boil. Right now I'm about 80% sure this is a misunderstanding, but the 20% of me that's screaming the loudest thinks I'm being harassed.

Their "courtesy notice" I received on the 26th talks about how the are between the sidewalk and the street needs attention. It also vaguely mentions "high grass" in the front yard, which is odd because I don't have any grass.

I spent the 4th trimming bushes and getting muscle cramps. My hedge trimmer shorted out before I could totally finish the job, but it should have been enough to pass an inspection. I bought a new trimmer on the 5th, but it rained so I couldn't do anything. I worked on the 6th until 10:00 PM, so no time there. And today, the 7th, it rained again. I really haven't had an opportunity to do anything.

Today I receive a follow-up citation. This one claims that "conditions previously brought to your attention have not been corrected." strangely enough, this follow-up report lists brand-new things that have not been brought to my attention. Things in my back yard, which wasn't even mentioned on the original notice.

Specifically they're worried about the grass and weeds (duh) and about the "stagnant water" in the pond. Admittedly I haven't checked the pond since I threw a mosquito dunk in it a week ago, but it isn't stagnant. Far from it!! The pump was going full blast last time I looked.

And have I or have I not corrected the problems in the front??? Since the follow-up doesn't say I can't be sure.

I'm afraid to hire anyone to correct anything at this point (as if I could afford it!) because I feel as soon as I take care of something the city will find a new problem, and I'll have to hire someone again. It will cost money each time someone comes out, so if I have a bunch of little repeat visits the final tab is going to add up quickly.

They need to quit hiding behind the bushes and give me an itemized list of what needs to be taken care of.

My deadline for fixing all this mess is the 18th. And I'll be in Berkeley all of next week. There is no way I can meet this stupid deadline. Properly fixing all these problems will take a few weeks, not a few days.

And the expense is going to do me in. The lowest estimate I've had on clearing the front yard is $500. Let's guesstimate $1000 for both yards. Another chunk of money to get the yards leveled. And then I have to actually add plants or stones or something. Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 when everything is finished.

If this had happened any other time of the year I could absorb it. Not in summer, though. I'm only making $5000 for the entire summer, and my house payment is $1000 per month. After three months of house payments I'll only have $2000 left to pay my other bills and to eat. I'm going to have to dip into savings to do this, or place everything on my charge card. Either way it sucks.

Worst of all this entire incident has lead to a huge fight with my mother. She's being impossible. She wants to loan me the money to do all this, when she and Dad can barely pay their own bills. She keeps talking about paying someone to do just enough to pass inspection, which means I'll eventually pay twice -- once for a trim, and once for an outright removal. She isn't taking the long view at all.

Today she volunteered to deal with all this while I'm out of town. I told her no. She won't do what I want done, so I'm better off dealing with it all myself.

The honest truth, which she won't admit to, is that she wants to play landscape designer and foist her vision off onto my property.

She wants me to have trees, for instance. I don't want trees. They shed. They have to be trimmed. They require care that I can't provide. They're as bad as the damn cats. And she wants me to have a whole host of nice plants; plants she's picked out that violate all my plant rules (no trimming, no special watering or other requirements.) She keeps saying things like "This just needs a little care." Sure, and fifteen "little cares" equal one big worry.

I am NOT a freaking gardener!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My vision involves a few well-chosen plant I can't kill easily, a watering system on a timer, and a lot of brickwork.

---

So disgusted by all this I did the unthinkable and tried to watch television. But I just can't manage the stupid box. I got it halfway out of the closet by shoving on the TV stand, so now it's blocking the door and I can't shove it back in without it tipping over, and I can't move it forward because I can't get behind it to push!

Nothing is going right. I know I sound like a broken record, but really! I'm overwhelmed and seriously worried about the new video game classes I'm introducing at school, I'm skating on financial hard times, and the only guy I've wanted to date in five years would rather watch Law & Order alone than watch Law & Order with his arm around me.

Not that I'll be watching anything, with the TV dithering over whether it wants to come out of the closet.

Redesign Blues (and Pinks!)

Decided this week to not only redesign my blog, but also my entire sharonh.com website, which is in sore need of a makeover. The last one (never completed) is from 2002. Right now it only works in Mozilla or Firefox (haven't added the JavaScript IE needs) but feel free to check the prototype.

Since I'm still feeling crowded and unwillingly restrained I decided to make the design as paired-down and simple as possible. Also wanted to make it as standards-compliant and easy to navigate.

Navigation has always been a pain. My site usually runs about thirty pages, and I can't ever figure out how to organize everything. Several years ago I hit on a "cute" organizational strategy, where I place stuff under the headings of different questions. So I have a "who" area telling all about me, a "what" area telling what I do, etc.

But it isn't a very intuitive system. For instance -- should my vita go under "what [I do]" or "who [I am]?"

Since it isn't logical the navigation system becomes VERY important. Visitors need to know where they are in the site, what is in that particular area, what they've seen, and how to get to the other sites. Plus they also need to know what the other areas are about, since a headline reading "WHY" doesn't give enough information.

What I really wanted is some sort of rollover system, so when a visitor rolled over WHERE they would discover this section is about "places Sharon treasures." Then I wanted a list of the places in the section, also as a rollover, so everything would disappear when visitors rolled over WHAT.

Visited AListApart and read an article on Hybrid CSS Drop-Downs. Managed to adapt it to my needs, after about four hours of work.

So the menu works, but the site is really too plain. It isn't very interesting, is it? And what's with that stupid shape, anyway? And why PINK???? What is the story with all the pink lately? I really don't like pink, but it's creeping into everything I do lately. I even bought a pink dress.

It's soooooooo duuuulllllll. And I can't figure out how to make it better. I like the menu system, except I'm still not crazy about the tag line placement.

It really sucks, doesn't it?

---

4th of July and nothing to do. For once my family isn't throwing the BBQ-to-end-all-BBQs, so I'm on my own.

I've been practically living in the movies. I've seen everything out except War of the Worlds and that Traveling Pants thing, and there are even three movies I've seen twice due to circumstances beyond my imagining. (Mr. and Mrs Smith, Bewitched, and Herbie Fully Loaded). The employees at the mall theater -and- the dollar theater are starting to recognize me. If I see that Crouching-Dragon-Turn-Off-Your-Phone commercial one more time I may kill myself. I will kill myself if I have to pay money to sit through another awful Fanta commercial. I'll suffocate myself with the popcorn bag.

I hate summer. This two-day-a-week work schedule isn't agreeing with me. I don't want to work any more, I can't afford to shop, and I don't want to read. (That's right -- I don't want to read. Yes, this is serious!!)

Must find something creative and fun to do before I do something destructive (again), like eat (another) Brownie Fudge Sundae.

Anything would be better than spending another day by myself. Maybe my dentist is open?