No DIY Romances!

I solemnly swear that from this moment on I will never allow myself to take a serious romantic interest in a DIY guy. Not as a friend, and certainly not as a boyfriend.

No more sad men in need of minor repairs or refurbishing.

No more broken men in need of major overhauls.

No more shy men who need extra supports and bolsters.

No more men with instruction manuals written in foreign languages.

No more men more bent on destruction instead of creation.

No more men lacking important (optional, as if) features like a telephone adapter accessory or a self-respect gauge.

No more men who need to be taught how to nail, um, things.

No more men with indescribably small communication reserviors.

This obviously means I'm going to spend a lot of time with women. Fine. It also means I'm going to the Halloween party by myself, thank you very much you assshole. Double fine. I don't need to be with people who don't want to be with me.