Can't Get No Satisfaction

All I want to do is take two little bitty 1/2" screws and screw them through two holes in an L-shaped bracket and into the back of a door. It should be SIMPLE. Drop-dead easy. I have a power drill, I have screws, I have a bar of soap, I have adequate lighting, I have two perfectly-measured pencil marks, I even have safety goggles.

Can't do it. I've been standing on a step stool for twenty minutes, and I just can't screw the damn things in.

All I want to do is hang an angel wind chime, a birthday gift from my mother a few years ago. That's it. Yes, I am hanging a wind chime indoors. It's going on the door into my garage, where it will serve as decoration and as poor woman's burglar alarm. I know the Gods of Garden Ornaments are probably against me right now, which is why I can't get the stupid screws to screw.

I can't get it to work. I can't screw. My worst fears are realized -- I'm a born-again virgin.